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Fictional Sports Movies and Their Awesome Sports Logos

March 3, 2014

Throughout the years, there have been some cool sports logos and team names in movies. Lets go down memory lane and look at some of the fictional team names and the movies they were associated with.

Baseball

5. Salt Lake Buzz–Don’t have a clue where this is from? That’s okay. Only the handful of unlucky folks saw Major League’s third installment, which featured this fictional minor league team. Despite the movie’s success–or, lack thereof–there’s nothing wrong with a jersey that reads, ‘Buzz’ across the chest. To the common man, it represents the simple sound of a honey-seeking hornet…but dig a little deeper, and there’s some versatility.

4. Kekambas–Honestly, who didn’t cry when watching Hardball? I’d be honored to don the same threads for which G-Baby worked so hard and smiled so brightly. There’s a cultural appeal with this one and it comes with Notorious BI.G.’s “Big Poppa” on a CD.

3. Rockford Peaches–If it’s cool to wear pink, it’s gotta be twice as cool to don a jersey from the All-American Girls Professional League. Plus, some out there believe Dottie Hinson is the greatest there ever was…

2. New York Knights–Your hesitation in connecting the Knights to The Natural is the reason why it is sitting at number two. Plain and simple, not enough people make a connection between the two for it to catapult to the top spot. In this movie (sorry, Mike Eruzione), the name on the back–or, since the name’s weren’t actually on the back, metaphorically speaking–is a helluva lot more important than the name on the front. Hobbs holds way more weight than ‘Knights,’ but who can deny its greatness? When you walk around, the theme song should play automatically and all lights resting high up on light standards should explode as you walk by.

1. Bad News Bears–You may as well get used to rockin’ jerseys with sponsors on the front, for all of you non-soccer fans out there to whom this concept is foreign. The major North American leagues are headed that way. So if you are going to show off a sponsor, why not Chico’s Bail Bonds? But, in all honesty, is there a fictional baseball team as rich with cultural currency as the Bears? The answer is no. Give me a Kelly Leak jersey and I’ll feel like the coolest guy in the room.

 

Basketball

 

5. Sunset Park–“Sunset Park what time is it? It’s time to get live/It’s time to represent.” Who knew Rhea Perlman could coach in the hood? This is an underground hit with Terrence Howard before he blew up as an actor. Besides, Spaceman and Bizzy B might challenge Sidney Dean and Billy Hoyle as one of the best basketball movie duos.

4. Western University Dolphins–One can only assume that Nick Nolte’s program in the movie Blue Chips got hit so hard with sanctions that they weren’t heard from for a long time…but, then again, if the fictional NCSA governed its programs like the NCAA, maybe they were issued nothing more than a slap on the wrist. Either way, we are talking about one of the greatest collections of talent ever assembled: Butch McCray, Ricky Roe, and Neon Boudeax. Never before has a Dolphin been more badass than when picture the mammouth Shaquille O’Neal dunking on a street court with a chain net rattling around as he almost tears down the hoop.

3. Hickory Hoosiers–Short. Sweet. To the point. When you wear this jersey, you don’t even need to say a word…that’s how Jimmy Chitwood would want it.Hoosiers is an awesome sports movie.

2. Toon Squad–It’s MJ’s other team in Space Jam. The Looney Tunes are sweet and Bugs Bunny is the smoothest in the game. You’ll automatically have the suave to walk out with your very own Lola Bunny.

1. Flint Tropics–This jersey screams, “I’m here to ball, but I’m also here to party.” I personally wasn’t the biggest fan of Semi-Pro, but I can’t deny the impact of what a crooked-toothed Will Ferrell can do for one of America’s most hardened communities.

Football

5. Faber Mongols–Whenever you can intertwine Animal House and sports, everyone goes home a winner. The best part about this? Faber Mongol, in real life, is a brand of pencil…

4. Washington Sentinels–“Pain heals. Chicks dig scars. Glory lasts forever.” Falco might have choked in college, but he leads a group of misfits in The Replacements who have become familiar names in sports movie conversation. Danny Bateman, Nigel Gruff, Earl Wilkinson, Jumbo, Clifford Franklin, the Jacksons, and Brian Murphy…This movie taught us that “Winners want the ball when the game is on the line…” and they also want Sentinel red.

3. Miami Sharks–Simple. Subtle. Like a true shark attack. Any Given Sunday represents that fascinating rock star life we all dream about at some point, but with an athletic twist. Plus, Cameron Diaz looked so good in that movie. And Al Pacino’s speech is among the greatest movie speeches around.

2. Mean Machine–Never before has cheering for a bunch of convicts been so acceptable. Straight up badass.

1. West Canaan Coyotes–The cool high school kids we always imagine we were as the days continue to trickle further and further away so that miscalculation becomes more and more believable. If you’re lucky, it will even come with a letterman’s jacket. If you’re luckier, it will come with some whipped cream for your very own version of Varsity Blues’ iconic scene.

 

Hockey

5. Team Iceland–While I recognize that Iceland is not a fictional country, they’re certainly not a hockey powerhouse and, do any athletes ever come from Iceland? Um…no? So for that reason, they’re considered fictional but they did take on the Mighty Ducks.

4. Boston Blackjacks–To be honest with you, I can’ recall much about the Blackjacks in Slapshot, but the name just has so much potential.

3. Eden Hall Warriors–Am I the only one confused how Charlie Conway went from not good enough in D2 to the too-cool-for-school jock in D3? Oh those Mighty Ducks movies. This was Mighty Ducks 3 for those of you playing at home.

2. Mystery Alaska Eskimoes–I actually enjoyed the movie, but, at the very least, you’ve got some great lines from Mike Myers on the play-by-play.

1. Charlestown Chiefs–While this sport, in general, does not have the power in its depth, you could make a strong case that this jersey trumps all. Slapshot could be the king of them all.

Other

5. Rancho Carne High Toros–Honestly, who cares about the jerseys in Bring it On. I just like that it evokes thoughts of white-hot Kirsten Dunst, Eliza Dushku, and/or Gabrielle Union. If all three don’t do it for you, one of them has to…

4. Big Green–What is a Big Green? Who knows!? Who cares!? Use your imagination. Anytime you can get Hamilton Porter from out behind the plate to the soccer pitch, there must be good reason. Because co-ed middle school soccer teams with top-notch talent even exist…

3. Poughkeepsie State Flying Cougars–An underrated nugget of comedy from Dodgeball.

2. Average Joe’s–Some might wonder why this isn’t number one, but it is just a little too common for me not to throw a hidden gem slightly ahead. But its cultural currency is undeniable and the personalities for which this jersey fits is endless. Dodgeball is a true sports classic.

1. Milwaukee Beers–BASEketball is not clearly baseball or basketball, so it fits in the other category. Buyer beware…if you rock this top, you better have some pretty sweet psyche outs.

Hopefully this blog brings back some awesome sports memories. Speaking of fictional, the biggest compliment we get at Awesome Sports Logos is, “are these teams real?”. We do offer five real Panamanian Basketball League t-shirts but the rest are made up. That’s actually the best part because we have no restrictions. Many of you have bought our t-shirts and I can’t thank you enough. For those that haven’t, you might want to try out our T-shirt of the Month Club. Big savings, free shipping and instead of getting just bills in the mail, you get an awesome t-shirt to add to your wardrobe.
Thanks as always for reading!
 Jared Sandler
Awesome Sports Logos Columnist
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