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Creating New Sports Logos is Addicting

May 7, 2014
When I agreed to start blogging for Awesome Sports Logos, I checked out the site to really see what genius existed. One hour later I stopped laughing, finally. One hour after that, I stopped trying to come up with my own creative location/nickname combinations because I had come up with zero that warranted even a grin.
Fast forward nearly five months and that takes us to the present time. As I have familiarized myself more with the brilliance of Awesome Sports Logos (re: Middleton Fingers and Brooklyn Leg Breakers, among others), I have become slightly more adept at coming up with my own potential winners. Then again, maybe I haven’t. I’ll let you decide from the ten combos I have come up with in nearly 5 months…
Waco Whisky
Balcones, a Waco, Texas-based distillery, recently was anointed as the “Whisky of the Year.” The award recognizes Balcones as, not just the country’s best whisky, but the world’s best, as it competes against all of those countries you learned about and the several more you didn’t even know existed. This is a big deal because this honor is typically reserved for a distillery in Scotland, the country most commonly associated with perfecting whisky. So, fire up some alliteration and bingo bango, we’ve got a candidate.
Battle Creek Slicers
I personally like the ambiguity of the nickname, “Slicers.” Is it a blood-spilling maniac or a citrus addition to a water? In this case, it’s as easy as sliced bread…literally. While it isn’t universally accepted, several people believe that Battle Creek, Michigan is the home of sliced bread. Others feel like Chillicothe, Missouri is the home, but Chillicothe isn’t nearly as sweet as Battle Creek. Regardless of the order of their bread-slicing discovery, both places were pioneers in something so elementary, which is why I feel compelled to give Battle Creek the nod for shirt purposes.
Colorado Weed Whackers
Colorado. Weed. Toeing the line. Yes, please. I thought about not including the “Whackers” part, but I think it adds versatility and an element of toughness. I mean, honestly, a weed whacker is pretty scary. There’s a lot you can do with the imaging. The name combined with some quality graphics, which is never an issue for Awesome Sports Logos, not only grabs attention, but it grabs some laughs, too.
Virginia Daredevils
Why is the daughter or Ananias and Eleanor Dare of any significance? Virginia Dare is considered the first American-born child of English parents. She was born in Roanoke, North Carolina, but who cares? Both states have ACC-competing colleges. Plus, several North Carolina locations are named in her honor, so locating the team is North Carolina shouldn’t be an issue. Think about wearing this shirt out—what a conversation starter!
South Carolina Tea Bags
This one is kind of edgy. Nothing is truly intimidating about tea, which limits a degree of versatility, or does it? The irony can score some points. The first tea farm was located in Charleston, South Carolina. I elected to go with South Carolina over Charleston because of the symmetry with two words identifying the location and the nickname.
West Virginia Mega Marbles
Almost all glass marbles are manufactured around Parkersburg, West Virginia. A marble is a euphemism for some other things that aren’t marbles that can be played upon with the graphics and messaging of this team. And why not add “Mega”? If you got it, flaunt it.
Stinking Bay Bees
You mean, you haven’t heard of Stinking Bay, Arkansas? Psht…Well, neither had I until I mistyped something into Google and it popped up. The rest, as they say, was history. Here’s what I’m thinking: Bees swarming around a smelly diaper, or, less graphical, just a baby? Ignoring the “Bee” part of this would be a mistake, if not, at least, in the event of creating an alternate jersey. The primary goal of this combination, though, is the macro, and the fact that when you say the full pairing it sounds out stinking babies.
Breakneck Neck Breakers
Since we have Wildcats and Tigers and Lions and Panthers and Cougars, I figured Awesome Sports Logos could bear—pun intended—having Neck Breakers to go along with the Legbreakers. Not that I support this act or anything, but it fits too perfectly with its “first name,” if you will. Breakneck Ridge is a mountain along with Hudson River in New York and, frankly speaking, a la the Leg Breakers, New York is kind of where the “Neck Breakers” best fit.
Bad Axe Lumberjacks
As someone who speaks on the radio in Michigan, I can tell you first hand that the few times I’ve mentioned the city, Bad Axe, I’ve sworn in listening back I’ve said Bad Ass. Either way, everyone loves a nice flannel-wearing lumberjack, so why not? I’m picturing a red and black flannel with oversized muscles. The way Chuck Norris looked when he was born…
Assateague Island Booty
This works on so many levels. First of all, Assateague Island is a 37-mile long barrier island off the coast of Delmarva in Maryland so, yes, it is real. To be perfectly honest, when I think “Assateague” I think about booty, so to speak. But, booty, conveniently, is also a way to describe a pirate’s treasure and, without stretching a lot, you can connect pirate’s booty to a place called “Assateague Island.” Following me? I’m picturing a girl rocking a J-Lo-like tushi bending over to pick up her “booty” as far as a logo is concerned.
You should try this yourself. Once your mind starts running, it’s tough to slow down on the amount of teams you come up with. One of the other aspects of Awesome Sports Logos that I love is their T-shirt of the Month Club. It’s like a VIP club without the cheesy bouncer and velvet ropes. You receive great discounts on the shirts as well as free shipping and who doesn’t love a gift in the mail each month. Just recently, we had a future husband get all of his groomsmen 6 month memberships. Now that’s one cool dude. Let me know what names you come up with and as always, thanks for reading.
Jared Sandler
Awesome Sports Logos Columnist
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